Tag Archives: list

Shit You’ll Say When You’re 80 and Still Hardcore

Remember when your grandpa would tell you it only cost a quarter to see a “moving picture” when he was a teen? Or how he used to walk five miles a day just to get to school? Well, if we make it to that ripe old age, we’ll probably be saying kooky stuff, too. Here are some phrases you may find yourself groaning out in the nursing home, if you make it that far.

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How To Be A Certifiable Douche At A Show

Everyone who goes to a heavy show knows what they’re in for: The strong possibility of getting punched in the face, kicked in the mouth, or tossed in the air to the touch of a thousand groping hands. If you’re attending a heavy show, you pretty much sign that unwritten waiver that you won’t be a pussy about it the second you walk into the venue. But this article isn’t about that basic principle. This article is about the show-goers who take things to the next level.

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10 Things You Do Post-Show

A few weeks ago we gave you a list of 10 Things You Do Pre-Show, from freaking out over buying your ticket to rocketing through the ceiling like Family Guy’s Peter Griffin when you’ve had one too many energy drinks. But just as important as your pre-show rituals are your post-show ones. That’s what this list is for. Let us see if we can pinpoint exactly what goes down after you and your friends leave the venue.

1. Immediately begin repeating the phrase “That was fucking awesome.”

2. Head to the merch table and buy all the things.

3. Whether it’s those 99cent Iced Teas or some Gatorade, you get your hydration on like you’ve spent a week in the Sahara.

4. Make your way to the same IHOP, McDonalds or Denny’s you’ve been going to post-show for the last five years.

5. Run into people from the show you just came from at said IHOP, McDonalds or Denny’s.

6. Instagram, Instagram, Instagram.

7. Compare notes about the bands you saw.

8. Start obsessively researching that one opening band that was surprisingly awesome.

9. Fall in love with this new band and vow to see them next time they tour. You’re gonna be the reason they make it big.

10. Collapse. You’ve earned it.